Running into Elena
by Bravemom
Summary: I have always wondered about the conversation between Christian and Elena after Anna tells Christian that she is pregnant. I decided to write about it. This is how I see the actions of Christian after he storms out of their apartment until he returns home drunk. The chapters have followed because of the reviews from you guys.
1. Chapter 1

**Running into Elena**

My anger is at an all time high as I leave the apartment. I head out of Escala and onto the sidewalk. I have to get away. Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! How could she be so stupid? How could I be fucking stupid enough to allow her to schedule her shot? I should have done that myself! Why would she do this? Has she done this on purpose? But even as that question comes to my mind, I know she would not ever get pregnant without us discussing it first. This brings me back to my own stupidity for not calling Dr. Green myself. I have always been so careful about contraception.

Flynn, I need to talk this out with Flynn. I turn and start walking in the direction of his office. I don't look at anyone as I pass them. I'm not even sure there is anyone on the street other than me. I have to stay focused on the goal of getting to Flynn's office, don't think about anything else right now. Just get to Flynn's office, and he can help me see reason! I doubt that is even a possibility right now. Reason and anger, no fury, do not really go together. Just as I head into Flynn's building, I run into Janet, his receptionist locking up the office.

When she sees me, she looks confused. "Did you have an appointment, Mr. Grey?"

"No, I was just hoping John was still in the office," I respond. I hope I do not sound as furious as I feel, none of this is Janet's fault.

"He normally doesn't leave this early, but he has a parent-teacher meeting this evening." she says by way of explanation.

Fuck, of all of the things he could have left early tonight to do, it had to be a parent thing. I have run out of patience, I turn and stalk out of the building. I can't go home to Ana while I am this angry with her. I would only say mean and hurtful things. But really, how could she forget her shot! I keep coming back to this. She knows I am not ready to be a father and she has her career so she isn't ready to be a mother. We have only known each other for such a short time. We are not ready for this not ready at all.

I start walking, I really wish I had my running clothes on so I could run and push my body to its limits rather than deal with all the emotions that I am feeling. This is why I like control, I know things are getting done correctly. There are no mess ups when I am in control, or at least if there are mess ups there is no one else to blame but myself. But this is out of my control and I am powerless. I hate feeling powerless. This feeling takes me back to being powerless as a child with the crack whore. No, I am not going there!

How did my perfectly ordered life get so far out of control? Yes, I love Ana! She is my whole world and that is another reason that I am not ready for this. I have so many things I want to do with her, places I want to take her and there is no room in those plans for a baby. I want her all to myself. She is my world and I want to be her world.

Control! I need to take control of these feelings, this fury! Control! How long have I been walking, how far from Escala have I come? It is at the moment I realize I am beside Esclava, I see Elena walking toward me. She hasn't seen me yet, but just as I start to turn away our eyes connect.

With surprise, Elena says, "Christian, I am surprised to see you here. Amazed actually!"

I have no idea how to respond, I am just as surprised as she is that I have ended up here.

"Christian, what's wrong? You have that look in your eyes, the one you had as an angry teenager," she boldly says.

I am amazed that she still knows me so well. But Ana would not be happy about me sharing anything about our life with Elena. So I try to brush her off and say that nothing is wrong.

She is too keen of an observer and suggests that we get a drink. I know Ana won't be happy with my decision, but I am still so angry with her that I don't really care what she would want.

Elena and I walk into a bar I know a couple of blocks away. We find a table in the back and Elena sits beside me. A waiter quickly comes over, and I order a Cabernet Sauvignon. Elena tells the waiter to bring the entire bottle.

As the waiter walks away, she looks at me and asks, "What is wrong, Christian? And do not give me any of that bullshit nothing is wrong. I have known you too long and know you too well to believe that."

Before I can answer the waiter returns with two glasses and our bottle of wine. He opens it and pours each of us a glass. As I watch him work, I contemplate how I am going to respond to Elena. I know in my heart that I cannot betray Ana and tell her the truth, it does not matter how angry I am. After the waiter leaves, I look Elena in the eye and even with the memories of our time together and the punishments she would dole out for lying, I know I will not tell her the complete truth.

I take a large drink of my wine, and I say, "Ana and I were discussing having children and I just don't think I will be able to be a good father. But Ana insists that she wants to have them someday. It is just a difficult thing to discuss with her. I decided to take a walk and clear my head." As I look at Elena, I think she believes everything I have just said to her. I pause and drain my glass, waiting for her to respond. But before she can say anything, I grab the bottle and refill my glass and quickly drain it again. I need some liquid courage for this conversation to continue.

"Christian, I do not understand why after all you have achieved that you still have such a negative view of yourself. You have not only built a successful business for yourself, but you have helped start a successful beauty business with me, and what about Elliot and the construction company you helped him start. You are one of the most talented business men in the country, yet you let your self loathing control you. I would have thought by now with all that I taught you, you would have mastered that demon in your life."

While she is talking, I drain my third glass of wine. I don't usually drink this much, but it is finally helping me to get my temper under control and relax a little. When I make no comment, she continues, "I have never seen you fail at anything you have attempted. You have the control to do anything, be anything you put your mind to, and this includes being a father. Although, I am not sure why you would want to clutter your ordered life with children."

As I am finishing our bottle of wine, the water returns and asks if we need anything else. Elena orders us another bottle and seeing that I am not ready to say more, she asks about my parents. I catch her up on all things Grace and Carrick, and as I am talking I see sadness in her eyes. My mom finding out about the nature of our relationship and severing ties with Elena has had a real emotional impact on her. I am not sure that I would have thought that possible. I ask how she and the salon are doing. Surprisingly even with the recession, the salon is doing well. But she reluctantly reveals that some of my mom's friends are no longer speaking to her now, and this has limited social engagements for her.

Trying to steer us away from this topic I ask, "Are you still seeing Isaac?"

"Yes, we still have our arrangement. It is still working well for both of us. He is a good submissive, probably the best since you."

We have finished the second bottle of wine, and this is probably the most drunk I have been in years. And even in this state, her comment about my time as her submissive makes me feel uncomfortable.

"We were great together you know, and we could be even better now," she purrs. As she says this she reaches out to touch me on the chest and for the first time in a very long time, the darkness closes in on me. I pull away quickly from her touch.

"No! I love my wife! I love Ana! She is my world now," I retort. She is shocked by my reaction. The look on her face says it all, but she recovers quickly and laughs it off like it was a joke.

She has realized that she has gone too far, and I want her to know that under no circumstances will I ever cheat on Ana. "Elena, I am not sure why I came here tonight, but it won't happen again. We cannot be friends!"

"Yes, yes, I agree and good luck to you Christian. I truly wish only the best for you." She rises to leave and says sadly, "Goodbye, Christian." Then she walks quickly out of the bar.

As soon as she is gone, I long to head home to Ana. But the reality of what I said and did to Ana crashes down on me. I cannot make myself get up and leave. When the waiter comes by again I order a bourbon. As I sit drinking, I think about Ana asking me how I would feel if it had been my son with Elena. I have a moment of complete clarity and I realize that what Elena had done was wrong and should never have happened. I would never want Junior to be in that position. Yes, Mrs. Grey you were right all along.

After what I think is my fourth bourbon, and I am completely drunk the waiter suggests that I get a cab and head home. I slowly climb in the cab and head back to Escala. As I am in the elevator heading up to the apartment, I am still not ready to share my lovely Mrs. Grey with a child. How am I going to get past this? But the biggest question that I cannot wrap my mind around is how I could possibly be a dad? I know nothing about children. The elevator dings and I stagger into the apartment and I am met by the lovely Mrs. Grey.


	2. Chapter 2

**Returning Home**

"Shit!" I stumble into the apartment nearly knocking over the table n the foyer. I feel lucky to have made it this far without toppling over as drunk as I am. Ah, the beautiful Mrs. Grey approaches me, and asks if I am okay. I lean against the door jamb to steady myself as she approaches me. She looks mighty fine and I tell her so. She asks me where I have been, but I am way to drunk to explain. Ana will not want to hear anything about Elena. I think my stumbling home drunk is all she needs right now.

As she puts her arms around me to help me walk down the hall to our bedroom her smell envelopes me. Even in my drunkenness, my mind goes to the same place it always goes when I am near her, sex. I tell her that she is very beautiful. She helps me sit on our bed, and I think she says I need to sleep. I feel dizzy, so very dizzy. I think I need to just lie back to rest a little. Yes, much better.

—

My mouth feels like it is full of cotton. My head, oh what a headache. What is going on? Then it all starts to come back to me as I fully come to consciousness. I vaguely remember stumbling home last night and Ana helping me to bed. Did we talk? I think I might have implied our child was an invader that will keep me awake at night and take Ana from me. She didn't seem to like my comment about the baby.

Why did I drink so much? This was the first time I have gotten drunk since my angry teen years. That's what this news has done to me, it has driven me to drink. Ana, I need to talk to Ana and apologize for my appalling behavior to her last night. I roll over to try to explain, but she is not in bed and her side wasn't slept on. She is really angry, oh no, has she finally run?

I jump out of bed look in our bathroom, Ana isn't in there. I check her study, but she isn't there either. I return to our room, grab my phone, and call her. I leave a voicemail asking her to call me. I try to keep the panic out of my voice. Maybe she went to Kate's to cool off. I call waking Kate up, but she has not heard from Ana. After I hang up with Kate, I try Ana's phone again. She still didn't pick up. I try calling her number again, willing her to pick up the phone so I know that she is alright. I have no idea when she left the house, she could be anywhere. She could be somewhere hurt, or she has finally left me! No, stop it Christian take a deep breath. She wouldn't leave me, would she? No, she wouldn't leave, think Christian! Where would Ana go if she were upset? The library! Yes, she would go to the library. I make my way there, but it is empty also. Now I am beginning to panic, because she is gone. Where else should o look? The sub's room, maybe she is there. As I head down the hallway, I nearly run Taylor over.

"Mr. Grey, is everything alright?" Taylor asks with concern written all over his face. I must really look as upset as I feel.

I answer him honestly, "Mrs. Grey and I had a fight last night, and I can't find her in the apartment. Taylor, check the kitchen and ask Mrs. Jones if she has seen her."

Immediately I head upstairs, after looking in the sub's room and not finding Ana there either. I check the playroom, but the playroom is locked. I didn't expect to find her there anyway. At this point I am panicking, she has really left me. Becoming desperate, I yell her name, but to no avail.

A plan, I need a plan! I rush down the stairs to find Taylor. When I arrive in the great room, Taylor, Ryan, Mrs. Jones, and Sawyer are all in there. I start issuing instructions to each person. I'm not sure if it was the expression on their faces or if I heard a noise, but as I turn and look behind me Ana is coming down the stairs wrapped in our duvet! Thank God! She didn't run, she is still here! I have been in so worried and afraid for the last half hour, and she is calming telling Sawyer when she will be ready to leave for work! Where the hell was she?

"Where were you?" I ask with more vehemence than I intended. But she walks past me without a word or even a glance. How can she have me worried to death and not answer for her actions. No, that is not going to work I want an explanation.

I follow in her wake calling her name as she walks into our bedroom, then straight into our bathroom locking the door. I yell her name again and pound on the door. The only comment I get from her is a command to go away.

She isn't going to get rid of me that easily. I wait for her right her by the bathroom door. As I wait for her fear begins to creep back into my subconscious, she won't even let me explain or apologize. She is really angry with me. I truly fucked this up last night.

Leaning against the wall, I try to think of how and what I am going to say to her when she comes out. But I don't have a chance to say anything because she walks right past me without a word and enters the closet.

Now I am getting angry and she doesn't like it when I get angry, but she can't just ignore me. Yes, let's start there. "Are you ignoring me?" I ask her calmly, despite how I feel. She responds tartly that she is indeed ignoring me. Then she starts getting dressed for work. She purposely chooses the plum dress that love to peel off of her. She chose that dress to tease and distract me.

Her anger I understand, but I don't understand why she won't talk to me. Ana has always been so curious and forces me to talk, even when I don't want to. I have to know what is going on with her.

"Why are you doing this?" I ask her quietly, not sure I want to know the answer. She responds with a question, no answer at all. "Ana-" I don't continue as she distracts me by slipping into her panties.

Her next statement completely floors me. "Go ask your Mrs. Robinson. I am sure she will have an explanation for you."

Once again, I tell her that she is not my Mrs. Robinson. But Ana cuts me off and tells me I should have talked to her yesterday. How does she know that I spoke with Elena last night? Was she going through my phone? She says the way she found out isn't important, the fact that I ran to Elena is the problem. I want to explain that I did not run to Elena, I am not even sure how or why I ended up there. But Ana won't listen to me, and now she is pissing me off. She won't tell me where she was and she thinks I cheated on her. I have never given her any reason to think I would cheat. I can't believe she would even go there. This conversation isn't going anywhere.

We are just shouting thing at each other in anger. We have resorted to name calling and shifting blame. I know I should say something, do something to make this right, but I just can't get the words out. Yes, I realize that my pride is preventing me apologizing.

Before she leaves for work she tells me she is moving her things upstairs to the subs room. Well, if that is the way she wants it, fine! Well if she is drawing her line in the sand, I can do the same thing. All of this could have been avoided if she had just taken her shot when it was scheduled. But now I am the bad guy, because I did not react the way she wanted.

How has my well ordered life gone to shit in just 24 hours? I need to go to work where people actually listen when I tell them to do things. I head to the shower, but shutting the bathroom door feels very final. As I step into the shower, I make a decision to not back down. She is the one that is in the wrong here, she forgot her shot. She can be the one to come to me. After I am dressed for work, I decide that my best option is to wait her out.


	3. Chapter 3

Mrs. Grey is angry and so is Mr. Grey

As Taylor drives me to the office, I realize I am waiting for Ana again! This time I am waiting for her to calm down. It seems that since the day I met Ana I have been constantly waiting, and I loathe waiting. The more I think about her behavior this morning the surer I am about waiting her out even though I hate the idea of it. I do not appreciate her threat of moving to the sub's room upstairs. What does she think that will accomplish? Does she think she can bully me into apologizing? Apologizing? Yes, I really do need to apologize, but she wouldn't even listen to anything I said. I am not sure I have ever seen her this angry before. I am not sure how I feel about all of this.

"Sir, are you ready to get out?" Taylor interrupts my thoughts. How long have we been sitting here? I need to get me head into the work zone and stop worrying about my conversation with Ana.

"Yes, I will let you know when I am ready to go this evening. It might be late." I tell Taylor as I exit the car.

When I enter Grey House, I keep my head down. I am in no mood to make idle conversation with the people I pass in the lobby as I enter the elevator.

When the elevator opens on the twentieth floor, I step out and tell Andrea to bring me my coffee, and then we will go over my schedule for the day. Did my tone sounded normal or did Andrea cringe as I spoke to her? Wonderful, my lousy mood from this morning is following me to work. I have been making an effort not to take my frustrations out on my staff. I guess I did not succeed in hiding my frustrations this morning.

After I enter my office, I take a deep breath and try counting to ten even though I know it would take me counting to seven hundred to completely calm down. I relax a little as Andrea brings in my coffee.

"Are you ready to go over your schedule for the day now? Or should I come back a little later?" asks Andrea. I know she is asking if I need time for the coffee to improve my mood.

"Yes, I am ready to go over my schedule now," I tell her. I should probably apologize for my terse words earlier, but my mood and ego are not ready to go to that place yet.

After Andrea runs through my day, I have a little time before I need to meet with Ros. I sit at my desk and reflect on the last twelve hours, and think of how many things have changed in that short span of time. I sit thinking of all the ways Mrs. Anastasia Grey has infuriated me. I mentally make a list of her transgressions. First, she forgot to get her shot and got herself knocked up. Second, she was snooping through the messages on my phone. Third, she hid away last night and didn't sleep in our bed. I am really on a roll now. Fourth, she wouldn't tell me where she was last night. Fifth, she wouldn't stop yelling at me long enough for me to explain.

Well, I did not sign up for this! If that is how she wants to proceed, I will just stay here at work this evening and not tally any more reasons to be angry at her and not give her any more reasons to be angry at me.

With that decision made, I continue with my workday. But even still Anastasia is never far from my thoughts. At one point it took all the restraint I had not to email her to see how she was feeling today. But I succeeded and an hour or so before Ana should have arrived home, I called Mrs. Jones to let her know that I would be working late and for Ana not to wait on me for dinner. I, also, let Taylor know that I won't be ready to leave the office until nine or a bit after.

Just after nine, I cannot resist hearing her voice any longer and call to tell her goodnight. I am still angry with her and I can tell by her tone that she is still angry with me. When we hang up, I head to the elevator and the car where Taylor is waiting to take me home.

When the elevator opens into the foyer, all is dark and quiet in the apartment. It is strange to enter our bedroom knowing Ana won't be in there waiting for me. I walk straight to the closet without glancing at the bed. I decided that I will sleep better seeing her safely asleep upstairs. I climb the stairs quietly, walk into the room, and her scent hits me immediately. I sit beside the bed and take off my tie, her favorite grey tie and drop of to the floor as I watch her sleep. Even with all the upheaval of the day, I still cannot imagine my life without her in it. I have no idea how long I sat there, but eventually, I head down to our bed. I sleep fitfully without my dream catcher. At 4:30, I decide to just get up and go for a run and head into the office.

I am already at my desk when Andrea arrives to begin her day. I send her an email to let her know I am already in my office and ready to go over my schedule when she gets settled. I figured after my gruff behavior yesterday, giving her a fright by coming out of my office to tell her I am here was not a great idea. A few minutes later she comes in and we go over my schedule for the day. With the problems at home, I completely forgot about my meeting in Portland with WSU to conclude some of the work we were doing there. I decide to send Ana an email to let her know where I'll be today. I wait for a few minutes to see if she will reply, but she does not.

I wonder if I should go home earlier tonight and see if she is still angry. When I return from Portland, I will decide what to do about my angry wife.


	4. Chapter 4

**Mr. Grey is loved**

The last few days have been the worst in my life! I never would have dreamed that my life now could be worse than when I was a child with the crack whore. But the hours and minutes since the bank called to say Ana wanted 5 million dollars from our account have been a nightmare of epic proportions! My first thought on the phone was that I had finally pushed her away and she was truly leaving me or that it had always been about the money. But then Taylor informed me that Jack Hyde had been granted bail and was now free, I knew something was terribly wrong! Just thinking about those terrifying minutes when I thought she could be harmed by that maniac, is almost more than I could stomach. When I saw her lying on the ground unconscious my mind, as it always does, went to the worst possible scenario. I thought she was dead and that our child was dead. I just reacted and started pummeling Jack. If Taylor hadn't been there, I think I would have had enough control not to kill the man. I realize Jack had Mia and this makes me hate him even more. So Ana risked her safety to save my sister, she is truly remarkable and has absolute no concern for her own safety.

I can't believe Anna shot him. She was serious when she said she knew how to shoot a gun. I wish she would have aimed higher and then the world would be rid of this scum. That might sound callous, but he has done some terrible things to women.

As I sit here in Ana's hospital room, I wonder why wouldn't she tell me that Jack wanted the money and that he had Mia? I would have found Mia myself and protected Ana and Junior from any danger. Why would she risk her life and the life of our child? Why did she do something so stupid? The answer has been staring me in the face every time Ana looks at me. She did these things because she loves me, she really and truly loves me. I have no idea why someone as wonderful as Ana would love me, and I know I don't deserve it but I have it. I will not forget it again.

I should have been there to protect her, but instead I was refusing to go home to her behaving like an adolescent, again! I was so stubborn and letting my ego get in the way of begging her to forgive me. That is what I should have done last night, but instead I had to make a point. I now realize my life without Ana would have point. God, please let her wake up! I have to be able explain myself and beg her to forgive me. After this stunt, as angry as I am that she put herself in danger by not asking me for help, I get it! I finally understand what she has been telling me all along. She loves me and she is here for the long haul. I must be worthy of love, if Ana, as kind and compassionate as she is can love me.

When we arrived at the hospital, I was so worried that not only was Ana injured, but that Junior was in danger too. Thankfully, the baby is fine, Ana did what all good mothers do and protected our baby with her body. It is amazing how a life or death situation can change your perspective on things. I am so thankful that Junior is safe. I am still worried that I will be a terrible father, and I wish we were not having child so soon. But I do know that Ana will be a wonderful mother. I also know the way I reacted to this news was horribly wrong and I pray Ana will be able to forgive me. Ana, please wake up.

Waiting! Again with the waiting, and I loathe waiting. But if it means Ana is healthy and I get to take her home with me soon, I will wait. I will wait right here by her bed holding her soft hands. I will wait here watching her breath. I will wait for those beautiful eyes to open. I will wait to hear her say, "Christian." Yes, my Ana is worth waiting for as long as I need to wait.

Since we have been here I called to let Ray know that Ana is in the hospital. He wants to come see that she how she is doing for himself. I send Taylor to get him. I have spoken with my dad, and he is so thankful for Ana saving Mia. I think he finally understands why I did not want a prenuptial agreement with Ana. He says Mia is still groggy from the Rohypnol, but thankfully not injured.

When Ray arrives he is furious with Ana for trying to save Mia all alone. He even gave me permission to take her across my knee. He has no idea that I have already had that thought myself without seeking his permission. I don't mention Junior to him. I think that is something that Ana should be able to share with her dad. He doesn't stay long, he is still weak from his car accident. But he makes me promise to notify him the minute she wakes up.

Each hour here seems like it is days long. I feel like I haven't spoken to her in years rather than hours. The doctor and my mom both agree that Ana is okay and her body just needs to heal and she will wake up very soon. I am holding onto that, because my patience is only holding on by that tiny thread of their confidence in her condition. If my mom wasn't in agreement with Dr. Bartley I would be searching for a new doctor in a heartbeat. But I trust my mom and her medical advice, so I wait clinging to the hope that she will wake up soon.

Just as I was thinking of her, Grace comes into Ana's room. I cross the room to her and give her a hug. "Do you have any new information about Ana's condition?" I ask when we pull apart.

"No, I don't have any new information since we last spoke," she replies. "Her body is trying to heal itself and is also working to grow a human being at the same time. You need to try and be patient while she recovers."

"You know that patience is not something that I have in abundance, right? It would make me feel so much better if she would just wake up and talk to me." I tell her. And then add, "How is Mia feeling?"

"You don't need to remind me of your lack of patience, I watched you grow up. Mia is physically doing wonderfully, but emotionally, she is struggling. She is really angry at Jack Hyde, and herself for thinking she didn't need your security team," Mom says. "Are you sure you don't want to go home to shower and rest for a while? I will stay here with Ana while you are gone."

"No! I am not leaving this room until Ana is awake." I tell her. "Mom, when she told me about the baby I reacted horribly. I blamed her for missing her birth control, and then I stormed out of the apartment. The next morning she was so angry, and she wouldn't listen to anything I had to say. So I worked late and didn't come home until she was in bed. This morning I left before she was awake to avoid her. I feel terrible about the way I have treated her. So I won't leave until I can beg her to forgive me." And it all just comes out in a rush, like I am confessing all my sins to my mom. "When I stormed out on her when she told me she was pregnant, I walked around Seattle for a while. Then I ended up in front of Esclava just as Elena was leaving. We went to a nearby bar and talked." I confess more of my sins to my mom.

"Christian, I thought you had cut all ties with that woman." She chastises me. I explain how the baby on the way, I now see what happened between us was wrong.

Grace looks at me with the love of a mother and tells me that she is sure Ana will be willing to forgive me. She says that all marriages have rough patches, but the important thing is to admit our mistakes and forgive each other for our faults. I hope she is right, because I need Ana more than I ever dreamed possible. She risked so much because she loves me.

After Grace leaves, I take my post at Ana's bedside. I must have fallen asleep, because the next thing I know Ana is running her fingers through my hair. Thank God, she is finally awake.


	5. Chapter 5

**Elena ch.5**

Ana is finally sleeping in our bed. I am so glad we are out of the hospital. Seeing her break down when we arrived home nearly caused me to come undone. Watching Ana cry is one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. I just want to hide her away from anything that would make her cry. I know she does not want me to keep her locked up her in, what did she call our apartment, my ivory tower. But it almost killed me to see her bruised and crying. She seemed to calm down when I held her, and I didn't want to let go until she finished crying. She is always so strong and confident, so to see her broken was one of the worst. But she still has no regard for her own safety. With all the self control I possess, I was able to say no to her request for sex. What is she thinking? I saw the bruises, I would not take a chance on hurting her for sex. She finally relented and stopped trying to persuade me. Thankfully she let me feed her, then help her to bed, and now she is resting. Her appetite is such a relief to me, she is finally eating enough to relieve my worry.

Now that she is resting, nI anxiously await Welch's arrival from Detroit with news of Jake Hyde. There is a feeling of dread as I contemplate what possible connections I could have with that fucker Hyde. After what seems like an eternity, Taylor informs me that Welch has arrived. I leave my post at Ana's side to find out why Hyde is obsessed with my family.

"Have him meet me in my study," I tell Taylor.

When I walk into my study, Welch is waiting for me. He has a manilla envelope in his hands. Not wanting to draw this out any longer than necessary. I ask, "What did you find in Detroit?"

"From the paperwork I found, it appears that you did not go immediately to live with Mr. and Mrs. Grey. They were not cleared by the State of Michigan's Child Protective Services to be foster parents. Mr. and Mrs. Grey had immediately started paperwork to adopt you, but you could not go to live with immediately. When you were ready to leave the hospital, you were taken to live with a family named Collier. They were already in the system, had other foster children, and therefore you could go immediately to their house. I have some pictures that were in the file. Here, right here, this is them." He says pointing at a couple surrounded by four, no five children.

I take the photograph from Welch to look at it more closely. There is an older girl, a set of twins, and then two smaller boys. I recognize myself as the smallest of the boys in the photo. It is a disconcerting feeling to see yourself in a photo, but not remember any of the other people or the photo being taken. The fear and uncertainty on my face is a punch in the gut and brings back all of those feelings to me now.

As I am looking at the other kids Welch points to another of the boys and says, "This one right here, that is Jack Hyde. You were placed in the same foster home for a short period of time while the Mr. and Mrs. Grey were getting approved to adopt you."

"What? I lived with that fucker as a child," I say more harshly than I intended as that sick feeling in my stomach grows stronger. More calmly I ask, "We knew Hyde was in foster care, now we know where."

Welch looks at me and nods. "I will leave all this paperwork here with you to look through. Do you need me to do anything else for you, Mr. Grey," he asks.

"No, no that's all for now. At least now we know there was some connection to me and my family. But, honestly, this leaves me with more questions than it answers. Thanks for getting this to me so quickly." I tell him.

"That's my job, sir." Welch says as he stands to leave, and I have Taylor see him to the elevator.

When I am alone, I try to remember anything about my time with the Colliers, but nothing comes. I scour the paperwork and look at each person in the photograph, but still nothing. I am not up to this right now. A better plan is to go check on Ana, and for some reason I bring all the paperwork with me.

When I enter our bedroom she looks so lovely and peaceful sleeping soundly. I sit down in the chair by the bed to watch her sleep. I want to occupy my mind with things other than Jack Hyde and watching Ana sleep is a wonderful way to pass time. I have no idea how long I sit here, but finally Ana starts to wake up. She can tell immediately that something is wrong. She knows me so well.

She beckons me to crawl in beside her, so I quickly crawl into bed with her. I lay my head on her lap and she runs her fingers through my hair. I draw on Ana's strength as I relay all of the things Welch told me about how my life was intertwined with Hyde's.

There are things I remember about my time before Grace and Carrick adopted me that I wish I could forget. Why don't I remember my time with the Colliers? My past is so similar to Jack's, am I just as evil deep down as he is? These are the things that keep going through my mind, the things that I hope holding onto Ana will help me to stop dwelling on.

Ana suggests that I call my parents to see if they have any insight on those months that are lost to me. I don't want to drag them into this mess. But Ana is persistent and if I don't call them I am sure she will.

My dad answers on the second ring, "Hello" he says.

"Hi Dad, Welch, my security adviser was just here with some information about Jack Hyde from Detroit." I begin, but Dad stops me and says he and Mom will head to Escala right away.

"I just don't remember, uh, thanks we'll be waiting." And that concludes our conversation.

There have been so many years I have left all these feelings and memories buried where I don't have to think about them. Right now all those fears, insecurities, all that pain and self-hatred are crashing down on me. Ana holds me, her love is what is holding me together right now. Without her by my side, I think I would be falling apart. As we wait for my parents to arrive, I hold onto Ana and draw strength from her for the conversation that I am about to have with my mom and dad.

When they arrive Mia is with them and informs us that she has invited Kate, Elliot and Ethan. Does Mia ever think of anyone other than herself? Ana has just been released from the hospital after saving Mia, she does not need to have guests over. But of course my Ana is so kind that she says it isn't a big deal and starts preparing for them. Thankfully she has the help of my mom and she puts Mia to work also. While they are in the kitchen I take Dad to my study to see if he can shed any light on the facts that Welch found in Detroit.

"Sorry to drag you guys out tonight. You should be home recovering from the events of the last few days." I say when we are alone.

"Christian, your mother and I wanted to come. I could tell on the phone that this news has really upset you and if something I remember can help you process this, I will do it in a heartbeat. You are my son and I want to be there for you whenever you need me," Dad says with sincerity.

"Thank you, here are the documents and pictures that Welch found. I just don't remember any of this. I remember Mom being my angel in the hospital and when you guys took me home. But this foster home, none of it, and I worry about what other important things have I forgotten? And why do I have to remember some of the horrible things from the time with the, uh, my birth mom? It just makes me feel more damaged," I mummer and sit beside him.

"When you first came to live with us, you wouldn't even stay in a room alone with me. You were so small and afraid of being touched by anyone, even Grace. From my perspective, looking at where you right now I would not call you damaged. You strong and if not healed, then you are definitely healing. You are one of the strongest people I know and I could not be more proud to call you my son." Dad says with a strength of conviction to his words.

"Thank you, I wish I could have always felt like I was worthy of that love." I confess.

"Well, you have always had it. Now let me see what your man has found on that scumbag," he says as I hand him the information on Hyde. After looking at the papers and pictures, he tells me what he remembers from after the crack whore overdosed. "Your mom called me from the hospital as soon as she finished examining you. She told me that she just knew you were suppose to be ours. She had me come to the hospital to see you. You were so small, but your eyes seemed to be taking everything in that was going on around you. We talked to the policeman that brought in and told him that we wanted you. He helped us get the ball rolling for the adoption," he stops for a moment to let me absorb the information he had given me so far.

Slowly I let out the breath that I didn't even know I was holding and nod for him to continue. He looks at me keenly, and starts again, "We wanted to take you home that night. Grace was so persistent that the officer was threatening to arrest her. But the social worker assured us the family they were taking you to was wonderful and you would be well cared for by them. It was so hard to let the social workers take you away. We just felt an immediate attachment to you." Dad puts his hand on my knee as he takes another break.

"We were able to come by and visit you while you were there. The Colliers seemed like nice people, you seemed to be happy, well as happy as you could at that time. We didn't see any of the other children for most of our visits, so I don't have much to say about Jack as a child. We did see him and the other children the day we came to get you to take you home with us. The Colliers told us you kept to yourself at their house. I don't think that you and Jack were around each other enough to draw any likenesses in your lives. Grace was worried you would miss the children you had been living with, you know how your mother worries about things. I guess the biggest take away I want you to have is you shouldn't worry about the things you remember or don't remember from your early life, but work to make memories that you're proud of now with Ana and your children." When he finished speaking, he stood put the papers from Welch on my desk, turned to me and asked, "Do need more information from me?"

Make memories I am proud of with Ana now? How did I not see how smart my dad is before tonight? Oh right, I was dwelling on all the negative thing I saw in myself. "Dad, thank you for telling me all of this. What you said about memories is really good. I am going to work on making those new memories and stop dwelling on the old ones." I say as we exit my study.

When we return to the living room everyone is about to make a toast to Elliot and Kate setting a date for their wedding. I give a disapproving look at Ana with a champagne flute, but my mom whispers that one sip won't hurt anything. So I set about making some of those new memories my dad spoke of tonight. Spending an evening with the people most important to me is a great first memory of happy times to file away.


End file.
